Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
