I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
