I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
