Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
