Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
