Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
