Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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