I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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