Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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