they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
