how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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