Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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