She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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