"it" just moved
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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