Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize