I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
