what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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