Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
