fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
