i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
3pm strippers are depressing
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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