What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
