Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
