have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
