My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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