She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize