I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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