She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
