dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
