Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
