She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Terrible idea I love it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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