Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
