with your own penis?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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