does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
