Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
