I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
