How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
