..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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