She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
