Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Two words: blizzard sex
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
