It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have aggressive nipples.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize