Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
