I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
