Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I need moral support for this bender
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
my liver is dry heaving
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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