a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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