Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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