I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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