Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
