she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
