id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
