So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize