I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
