I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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