ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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