Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
