i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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