I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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