Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
