We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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