I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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