I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
