can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
